Happy New Year everyone! It’s that time once again to take a look back at the best and worst films of 2015. Like any other year, I could only judge what I’ve seen. Here is a look at my Bottom 10 for 2015 starting with:
10. Fantastic Four
I so wanted to like this movie. In my original review, I stated that Fantastic Four was the worst kind of mediocrity. There were aspects of the story that I could rally behind and with multiple viewings, even the actors started to grow on me. But then the harsh reality of a bad overall screenplay and a villain who has yet to be portrayed correctly on the big screen made me wish that FOX finally give back the first family of comics to its rightful owners… Marvel. Oh well, maybe someday.
9. Unfriended
The premise is simple enough, a group of friends chatting online when a mysterious “person” enters the chat room using the account of their dead friend. From there, it all goes south rather quickly. This PG-13 horror film with its rating was trying to reach a wider audience and is supposed to be a psychological thriller with a touch of gore. Instead, it’s neither. Let’s hope Facebook doesn’t create an app for this.
8. Pixels
There was so much potential to make this a fun and nostalgic trip down memory lane. This should have been a live action answer to Wreck It Ralph. Here’s the skinny… aliens have intercepted video feeds of classic arcade games like Pac-Man and Donkey Kong and have waged war against mankind. So who do call to save the day? Well, if you’re Kevin James as President of the United States, you call Adam Sandler. Sandler plays a video game champion and obviously well versed on defeating an advanced alien species. Just call this Grown Ups 3 and download these classics for yourself. It’ll be so much better than the movie, I promise you.
7. Seventh Son
With Jeff Bridges and Julianne Moore leading the way as opposing forces, what could go wrong? In a word… a lot. Centuries ago Master Gregory (Bridges) defeated and imprisoned the evil witch, Mother Malkin (Moore) and saved the land. This might have been a much better story to see unfold. Instead, Malkin escapes and seeks revenge. Master Gregory ends up training a new apprentice to take on the malevolent witch whose powers in theory should be far greater than his. Talk about a lot to ask of a newbie. Like I said, I would rather watch these two seasoned actors go toe-to-toe. It would have both been different and refreshing.
6. Ted 2
I’m going to call this as the curse of the 2’s and Ted 2represents Part One of a trilogy of terrible sequels in 2015. I was a fan of the first film but like so many before comedies of this nature, the need to one up the gross factor becomes a redundant cliché. In this one, Ted is married and wants to have children but in order to do so, he must prove he’s a person. Yeah… ok… sure. Mark Wahlberg has proven he can pull off pretty much any genre and I do like his work, just not this one.
5. Vacation
You’ll need one after seeing this and perhaps even a shower. This reboot of the popular National Lampoons Vacation starring Chevy Chase, borrows elements from the original but forgot the charm that went with it. Ed Helms and Christina Applegate do their best but instead of funny visual gags, directors Daley and Goldstein opted for the gross variety. After a while, there is only so much one could take.
4. Jupiter Ascending
Ugh. Your mind will descend into the abyss from watching this CGI overload starring Mila Kunis and Channing Tatum. There is so much wrong with this film starting with, what was it about? I’m not sure if you asked the actors that same question they could answer either. According to the synopsis, a woman (Kunis) discovers that she is an intergalactic heiress and must somehow save Earth from certain destruction from Eddie Redmayne? What?? Sorry no can do.
3. Mortdecai
It’s the best name on this list and that’s the only positive thing about this wannabe Austin Powers/James Bond rip off starring Johnny Depp. It tries too hard for cheap laughs and fails on almost every level in doing so. Depp plays an art dealer who has to race across the globe to recover a stolen painting that may or may not contain a code that leads to lost Nazi gold. Sounds like a good premise if it ever gets made.
2. Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2
Also known as the curses of the 2’s part two. It’s been six years between that mildly successful Paul Blart: Mall Cop film and for some reason the studio felt the need to make another. It would’ve been perhaps more acceptable if it came out a couple of years later but no six years was far more acceptable. Part two is basically Kevin James recycling scenes and lines from the original and expecting the same laughs but unfortunately, the answer is no.
1. Hot Tub Time Machine 2
And then there was this, the curse of the 2’s part three. Why? The first one wasn’t even that good. Sure it had its moments but can any of us really remember what they were? And now, we have Part Two. I wish there was a time machine so that I could go back and retrieve 90+ minutes of my life again.
So there it is… the Worst, the Bad and the Ugly. Tomorrow, we’ll look at the Best of 2015.
May the Dork be with you,
JPB
The Dork Knight
