THE WORST FILMS OF 2016
Happy New Year everyone! I’m sure I can speak for many that I am happy that 2016 is now in the rearview mirror. But it is that time once again to look back at the best and worst films of 2016. As I’ve said in the past, I could only judge what I’ve seen. So, without further ado, here is a look at the worst films for my money for 2016 starting with:
Remakes and reboots are all the craze in Hollywood and I’ve accepted that. Remaking classics however is where I draw the line or at the very least view it with a more critical eye. Such was the case with Ben-Hur. The Charlton Heston biblical classic is one of the most celebrated films in cinematic history and the famed chariot race one of the most thrilling. This CGI induced remake does very little to improve upon the original and in certain instances, it changes many key storylines. It’s an hour less but feels like an hour more.
9. Independence Day: Resurgence
This could have been a fun film if it came out 20 years ago,. It could have been a fun film if Wil Smith appeared in it. Better yet, it could have been fun if they left well enough alone and didn’t bother making this less than impressive sequel that even the great Jeff Goldblum could not save.
If you’re still waiting for a good video game movie to come out, good luck because Warcraft isn’t the film you’re looking for. Great visuals are not enough to save an incoherent storyline about Orcs and humans. I say stick with Lord of the Rings or play the video game. Either way, you’ll be doing yourself a huge favor.
7. Divergent Series: Allegiant
I just don’t get it. This series has evolved, and I use that term loosely, into a very different animal from the one that started in 2014. Divergent was once pegged as the next Hunger Games. Now after three films and two more to come, this franchise, its lead actors and its audience suffer from sheer boredom from a storyline that has gone on for far too long.
6. Alice Through the Looking Glass
I like the first film quite a bit and this sequel is even more visually stunning. Unfortunately, that’s the only positive. The story is underwhelming and very drawn out. Even Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter fails to live up to anything resembling the previous Alice in Wonderland.
5. Angry Birds
Sometimes a simple app game should just be that. Was there really a public need for a 90+ minute film? I think not. The one thing this boring animated family film did was creating Angry Parents. Epic fail.
4. Zoolander 2
Another sequel nearly over a decade too late. I really enjoyed Zoolander when it came out in 2001. Sadly, the laughs are very few and far between. Stiller and Wilson can do so much better. Even the numerous celebrity cameos offer just a handful of laughs and for a comedy; a handful might as well be zero.
3. The Forest
If you’re going to market yourself as a horror film, you better be scary. Natalie Dormer is a fine actress and The Forest allows her to showcase her range as she tackles a duo role. The premise of a missing sibling and a mysterious forest where people go to die should be scary by its nature. This film doesn’t deliver on any level the scare factor. That in and of itself is scarier.
2. Gods of Egypt
For the better part of 2016, Gods of Egypt had my vote for the worst film of the year till I came across a certain “gem” that took over that spot. This is a CGI nightmare and a complete wreck of a film. This isn’t the first mass exodus but hopefully the last.
1. Yoga Hosers
And here I thought Tusk was the low point of Kevin Smith’s career. While I still remember how great a filmmaker Smith once was, with each passing year, it becomes more and more a distant memory. This comedy featuring both Kevin Smith and Johnny Depp’s daughters in the lead roles is so unfunny, it’s actually sad.
Enough talk of the bad. Tomorrow we celebrate the best of 2016.
May the Dork be with you,
The Dork Knight