Well it’s that subjective time of year again when the best and worst movies get posted and discussed. Rounding up the worst has always been easier than figuring out the very best. So, here is my personal look at the worst movies of 2013.
10. R.I.P.D. – I thought the premise of an after life police squad was intriguing. But that’s about as far as it gets for me. Ryan Reynolds and Jeff Bridges could have and should have been a great pairing. Unfortunately for them the film losses it identity somewhere along the line when it wasn’t sure if it wanted to be the next Men in Black or Rush Hour.
9. After Earth – It’s okay when a video game looks real and like a movie. It’s not however okay when a big budget movie looks and feels like a video game gone wrong. Let’s hope Will Smith’s next turn at a space adventure is the sequel to Independence Day.
8. Grown Ups 2 – Yes, I admit I did chuckle every once in a while but that came from watching Taylor Lautner. And if he is the funniest person in a Adam Sandler film, than you know you’re in for a long disappointing outing.
7. Runner, Runner – Timberlake and Affleck were not the problems. The plot involving online gambling was both mediocre and implausible. Run, don’t walk from this mess.
6. Free Birds – This time traveling turkey (pun intended) of an animated film falls flat and is easily one of the worst of the animated films I’ve seen in a very long time.
5. Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa– Do yourself a favor and only watch the trailer. This way, you’ll laugh and save yourself an additional 80+ minutes of nonsense. Afterwards, rent any of the Jackass films for your enjoyment.
4. Paranoia – Where Wall Street meets The Firm. Sounds like a good idea unfortunately neither Gary Oldman or Harrison Ford could save this uneven, “what’s the plot?” kind of film. It also shows that Amber Heard and Liam Hemsworth are not quite ready for prime time.
3. Hangover 3 – You know the saying, “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.”? Well, that’s what this trilogy should have done. What started out as an original and funny concept with its first entry in 2009, has morphed into silly, low hanging fruit for laughs, junk. And I am convinced that anything with Melissa McCarthy in it will not be any good as you will soon see.
2. Identity Thief – Seen it before and much better I may add. Jason Bateman (who I like) and Melissa McCarthy (who I don’t) go for very cheap gags and laughs in an Felix and Oscar type of pairing. Isn’t a point to laugh when watching a comedy? I guess Identity Thief didn’t get that message and the only real thief was my time.
1. The Heat – This completes the McCarthy trifecta. How this film made as much as it did is beyond me. Nearly 160 million domestically as of this posting. I’m all for a female driven buddy-cop film. In fact, I would like to see more. Just not this one. I like Sandra Bullock. I have for years but much like Bateman from Identity Thief, her comedic star can’t shine thanks to the total eclipse that is McCarthy.
I welcome your comments and your own list of the worst you’ve seen in 2013. And I look forward to discussing more likes and dislikes for 2014 and beyond.
May the Dork be with you,
JPB
The Dork Knight
