Happy New Year everyone! It’s that time once again when we look back at the worst films of the past year followed by the best. The films on these lists only represent what I’ve seen. So without further ado, here is a look at the worst films of 2017 starting with:
10. Transformers: The Last Knight
Where has this profitable franchise has gone? I said it before and I’ll say it again, I like the Transformers. The early films were popcorn, mindless fun. Escapism at its best. But these last two Walhberg entries have been duds and there’s more to come including a movie dedicated to Bumblebee. Oh joy!
9. Dark Tower
Stephen King novels overall had a good year with the surprise hit IT. Unfortunately the highly anticipated and very popular Dark Tower was a complete letdown despite having two strong leads in Idris Elba and Matthew McConaughey. Too much story packed into a relativily short film. It’s a shame because the ptential was there.
8. Jigsaw
Did the world really need another Saw film? No it did not. Jigsaw is one big torture porn mess. Let’s hope they make no more.
7. King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
When I heard Guy Ritchie was making King Arthur, I was excited. I like the casting of Charlie Hunnam as Arthur being a fan of his from his days on Sons of Anarchy. Add Jude Law and Eric Bana and it has a solid foundation. And then it came on-screen and it went downhill from there. This particular version of the Arthur myth won’t go down as a legend at all.
6. Baywatch
At one time the TV series Baywatch starring David Hasselhoff was the number one show in the world. With Dwayne Johnson as the lead, what could go wrong? Lots of it I’m afraid. Part Naked Gun, part American Pie with its visual gags makes Baywatch, unwatchable. A better Dwayne Johnson film to watch would be Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle. Now that was fun.
5. The Mummy
This Tom Cruise vehicle was supposed to launch a dark universe series of films much like what Marvel has done with their cinematic universe. It’s one big bore. It takes so long to gain any traction and when it does, you find yourself not caring one way or another about any of the characters. Looks like Universal will have to consider rebooting their reboot.
4. CHiPS
I was such a fan growing up of this TV series starring Erik Estrada and Larry Wilcox. So much so, I had the helmet and badge and pretended by bike was a motorcycle. Instead of making this film an action/adventure, the producers went full-blown comedy with Dax Shepard and Michael Pena in the lead roles. Both actors I like but the choices made should earn them a night in jail. Stick with the series.
3. Geostorm
It’s not the films fault that with the timing of real life weather disasters happening all around us. What is their fault is the constant regurgitation of material from every other disaster film that preceded this mess of a storm. Go big or go home? Go home and lock your doors.
2. Flatliners
A remake of a mediocre film, Flatliners accomplishes one thing that no film on this list was able to do and that was live up to its title.
1. Emoji: The Movie
I thought making an Angry Birds film was a bad idea. Who thought that an entire film could be made based on emojis? I chose this particular movie poster because it best represented the quality of this god awful film. Ugh! Yup ___ happens!
Now that the bad is out of my system, I can’t wait to share with all of you the Best of 2017!
May the Dork be with you,
JPB
The Dork Knight
