There were many memorable films in 2019 as well as many disastrous ones. Before I celebrate the best of 2019, we need to discuss (briefly) the worst films we wasted our money on. Starting with….
10. Rambo: Last Blood
Of all the films on this list, this one is the toughest to add because I generally like the Rambo series. However, adding this last entry was a huge mistake. When Rambo’s niece is kidnapped and sold into sex trafficking, he vows to save her and bring her home. Kudos to the creative ways we were shown to kill people but in the end, we’re left feeling like Rambo lost more than he gained. And so did the audience.
9. Gemini Man
While I love the premise behind Gemini Man, the film itself starring Wil Smith was a convoluted mess. Despite the impressive visuals and strong performances led by Smith, the story fails to execute on its potential. It struggles to find balance between being an action film that is thought provoking and a psychological thriller with a flare for action. Either way, it didn’t work and it’s a shame.
8. Glass
M Night Shyamalan’s “superhero” trilogy starring Bruce Willis, James McAvoy and Samuel L. Jackson comes to an end with Glass. Quite honestly, it couldn’t come soon enough. It took nearly two decades to complete and while there were aspects of the film I enjoyed, ultimately it was a boring snooze fest.
7.47 Meters Down Uncaged
Didn’t know we needed a sequel to 47 Meters Down? Well, we didn’t. Unlike JAWS, movies like this makes the audience root for the shark. Chomp, chomp, and chomp.
6. MIB International
Another film I wanted to enjoy given that it starred Chris Hemsworth. Unfortunately even his charm can’t save the universe or this franchise. Where is the memory wipe when you need one?
5. Dark Phoenix
The final film of the X-Men series before Disney gets their Mickey Mouse hands on them. Dark Phoenix is one of the most popular comic book story arcs in the history of comics but this film is an epic fail. This is the franchises second attempt at a Dark Phoenix film and much like its first go round, this one felt rushed and will leave fans disappointed. Will Disney try and reboot it for the MCU? I’m going to say no but I do know the future of the X-Men is still a priority now that Marvel Studios has full control.
4. Murder Mystery
Perhaps my most controversial pick for worst films of 2019 is this Netflix original starring Adam Sadler and Jennifer Aniston. It may have been the most popular film steamed on Netflix but it doesn’t mean it was any good. It’s trying to be smart and funny ala Clue and it’s often neither. Skip.
3. Pet Sematary
With the success of Stephen King’s IT, here comes another remake of one of the author’s classic horror tales. The real horror is this boring attempt to update a story that didn’t need to be updated. I say, stick with the 1989 original, which is only slightly better.
2. Cats
So much negativity has been said about this disaster of a musical. Despite an impressive cast, the best way to describe how bad Cats is to compare it to full litter box in which the litter box is easier to deal with.
1. Hellboy
Another reboot. Another missed opportunity to make this franchise a hit. I love David Harbour and was genuinely happy that he was cast in the title role. And then the film started. It’s terrible on so many levels. The fact that it’s still worst than Cats says it all. Hellboy is chaotic and so disjointed that you beg to be put out of your misery. Because I was looking forward to this, the disappointment on multiple levels makes it the worse film of 2019.
There you have it, the Worst of 2019. Comment below your thoughts and share your list for the worst. I’m sure so of these will be on yours but I’m also sure they’ll be different ones to discuss. Come back tomorrow as I unveil the Best of 2019.
May the Dork be with you,
JPB
The Dork Knight
